Hello! Valerie here :) Welcome to my brain dump on hosting. I think this is one of my favorite things to do as a homeowner and ultra planner! You do not have to own a home to love the place you live and host others. If you feel uncomfortable in the space you have, whether you feel it is too small, or not ideal. Well, basically… get over it. The good news is no one cares as much as you do! Everyone loves the sentiment of being invited into your home, large or small. It is such a sweet way to make others feel loved and valued and they just want to spend time with you!

I remember in college when I was one of many team leaders at a large on-campus bible study and I wanted to host my team, I had not a care in the world if we could fit in my tiny apartment. This may have been because I was only 22 and didn’t feel pressured into societal norms quite yet. And guess what? We made it happen! I remember making crepes and we just had the most fun fellowship. We made some sweet memories. I won’t ever forget those college gatherings because they taught me that you don’t need much to make others feel welcomed and hosted well. What matters most is that you’re gathering!

Here are some things I have learned along the way about hosting. I hesitate to say these are steps and tips, but more things I have learned through trial and error. I am not a master at hosting but it is a passion of mine so I would love to share my heart.

Let’s get into it!

STEPS TO HOSTING:

STEP ONE: IDEA & MOOD BOARD

Just like with any project, there have to be a few things you want to do before you dive in headfirst! Make sure you have an idea. Honestly, as soon as I think of an idea, I make a mood board so I never forget it. And I am not harsh on myself to make it happen. By writing it down or making a mood board on Pinterest, I choose to put that thought in a safe place where I can pull it out at any time when I feel like I am lacking inspiration! When an idea is in safe keeping, it doesn’t get lost or forgotten. We are all more creative than we think; we just struggle with forgetting our ideas! Now, your idea may be as simple as inviting a friend over for coffee. Or maybe you’ve been wanting to host a few friends for some time. There needs to be a purpose before you host, and often that is found in who you are hosting. You’ll figure out why. Birthday, catch-up, celebration, baby shower. Once there’s an occasion (which there is always a reason to celebrate), it’ll be time to start mood boarding to figure out the rest of the details: theme, color palette, and dress code.

The way that my brain works is in seasons. I very much enjoy the seasonal aspects that a calendar year brings. For instance, I hosted a “Summer To Fall” girls' night last fall. Before I jumped in, I made a mood board. I even watercolored some inspiration to hang on my potting station in my backyard. I gathered inspiration that brought me excitement and the feeling of what I would want to bring into my girls' night. It was so much fun to create a vision for the night.

STEP TWO: WILLINGNESS TO EXECUTE

This is important. It’s not just a task, but rather a commitment. I always ensure that I am capable of hosting an event before I agree to do so. It's also important to ensure that your heart is in it and that you have the mental space to host. A cluttered mind will lead to a cluttered conversation, and a cluttered life to a cluttered home. They say that for girls, the state of our cars is a direct reflection of how busy and hectic our lives are. Clutter can seep into most parts of your life. It’s okay if you don’t have the capacity to host right now. Get things figured out and cleaned up, and take time for yourself! It’s okay, and you'll be able to in the future!

Hosting Bridal Shower for my sister-in-law at my parent’s house in Gunter, Texas. It was so sweet! Theme was the Bride is on Cloud 9.

STEP THREE: SET THE DATE AND TIME

This one is pretty easy, but make sure you take a look at that calendar, check with the friends and see what works best for everyone. Of course, life happens and things don’t always go according to plan, but it’s essential to check your calendar and ensure there are no conflicting commitments on that day (this depends on the type of event you are hosting at your place). Decide on the date and stick with it!

Christmas Eve Party hosted by my Aunt & cousins: Aunt Anne, Riley Donohoe, Mya Donohoe (icons)

STEP FOUR: MAKE GUEST LIST & INVITE OTHERS IN

You definitely want to put it on people’s radars if it’s near or far. As soon as you’ve decided on a date, go ahead and invite your guests.

Some ways to send invites:

Group text
Individually text
Facebook group invitation (classic birthday invite, haha!)
Physical invitations - this really elevates your event!

STEP FIVE: PLAN

This really can such a thought dump, but I love to write out what I want to do, and how I want the time to feel. It doesn’t have to be a full itinerary. What will they do? Verbs. How do you want them to feel? Adjectives.

Try to figure out all of these!

Lighting, Mood, Decor, Food, Drink, & Activity

I have always appreciated that my husband plans out the questions he will ask people before seeing them. He makes mental notes before going into a coffee, dinner, or hosting, especially if we are about to see friends we haven’t caught up with in a while. He makes sure to hit all the topics he wants to ask about. It’s super sweet because he cares so much about ensuring the conversations flow well! He is the best at making people feel loved and seen in conversations.

To-do lists. I live and breathe by my to-do lists! Planning out what is needed to make the event successful is crucial! I mostly write out my to-do lists, unless I am hosting with someone else; then I will use a shared note or document. I jot down anything that I need to make it happen, all the way down to where things will go and what they will be. Anyone who has hosted an event with me knows this.

If you are having food, it’s good to go ahead and start planning out if you’re making it or if you’ll bring others into the prep. I did this last year for the Galentine’s party I hosted with two of my friends!

STEP SIX: SOURCE & PREP

Sourcing doesn’t mean having to spend endless amounts of money to host. The order in which you should source for your event should first start with what you already have. And if you are on a budget, you can also source by thrifting at your local Goodwill or checking out Facebook Marketplace.

Flowers are the easiest and most cost-effective way to decorate a space. You can get some from a local grocery store, trader joes,Wholefoods, H-E-B or order from your favorite florist (One of mine is Chelsey J Blooms)

The week of hosting something I will start gathering things on my table downstairs. It really just helps me save time the day of - so it’s all there and I don’t have to worry about finding it.

It’s also good to go ahead and put in that grocery order the earliest you can if you are cooking or baking. I try to the soonest possible moment through H-E-B!

Fourth of July Cake I baked in Colorado - recipe from June-July 2022 Southern Living Magazine! It was a chocolate malt icing buttercream cake.

STEP SEVEN: ENJOY HOSTING

No one loves a host who is unseen in the kitchen the whole time, or STRESSED. Most of what will help you enjoy the time with your guests is planning it out and getting things done ahead of time.

Let go of the need to make everyone love each other. Sometimes, I struggle with this because I have a few different friends from different phases of life and places. I want all my friends to be friends, and in most cases, they don’t know each other perfectly. But they are at your event for a purpose, whether it's to spend time with you or celebrate an occasion. It's best to let go of trying to be everything to everyone at once. It’s impossible, so just enjoy the time with them.

Bottom line, don’t overthink hosting! It's simpler than we think. If we are afraid to host an event we may miss out on some memory making time. There is always a reason to celebrate, so find something to celebrate and gather. People will come! Please tag me if you end up hosting something; I want to see your celebrations <3